The KOLM before the humor
by k wolf omega
Summary: team KOLM? Check. Shenanigans? Check. Something to keep you all entertained until im able to get back to writing team KOLM. There will be spoilers in here, but you will be warned of them. rated T for swearing.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello readers! My friend Elementor gave me the idea to do this. In return for my lack of KOLM story (damn you writers Block), here are some short stories revolving around my team. There will likely be spoilers in some chapters, but.. Meh. I have the plot in my head, i simply can't write it.**

 **Anyways, let us begin the humor.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own RWBY.**

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Kevin looked around the team KOLM dorm "Hey guys, wheres Mark at?" he asked. Usually the quiet one of the team told them when he would leave for a long period of time.

"He left something in Professor Goodwitch's class and went to get it." Odessa replied. "Maybe if you stopped writing whatever that is and paid attention you would know that."

Kevin glared at her. "Shut it Princess."

* * *

As they were discussing this, Mark was running to Goodwitch's classroom, his usually calm demeanor partially gone. "Please for the love of Dust, don't let anyone have seen it.." he said as he walked into the classroom, turning pale as he saw Goodwitch sitting at her desk, reading his book.

"Ah, Mr. Johnson." Goodwitch began as she rose from her chair. "I was wondering when you would come for this. I wasn't aware you were a fan of this type of literature."

Mark looked at the ground "May I have it back Professor. And please don't tell anybody about it." he pleaded.

Goodwitch walked over to him with a grin. "Don't worry Mr. Johnson. I'll keep your secret. But, i want you to do something for me." she said as she tilted his head up to look him in the eye.

Mark, a little flustered, replied "What would that be professor?"

* * *

A while later, Mark returned to the dorm, looking exhausted. "Where have you been?" Kevin asked, only getting silence in response as Mark went to his bed and fell onto it.

"Miss Goodwitch had me run to town and pick something up for her. And since the Bullheads aren't running this late.. Ugh." Mark told them. "Now, if any of you wake me up, i'm poisoning your next meal." And on that note, he fell asleep.

* * *

 **You all thought i was gonna say she wanted something else from him didn't you? Perverts.**

 **Odessa: That's the pot calling the kettle black.**

 **Oh shut up airhead! And yes, the book was everyone's (Blake's) favorite smut novel.**

 **Anyways, i hope you all enjoyed this. Drop a review if you have any good ideas, or just to leave me some feedback.**

 **Have a HOOOWWLING good day/night!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello readers! Welcome to another chapter of shenanigans. I do not own RWBY or anything else that might appear in these chapters.**

 **This chapter was written by one of my friends, and he gave me permission to post it on here. So here we go!**

* * *

Kevin was nervous. His hands were shaky and his brow sweaty. He thought asking Velvet out would be tough but he never expected meeting her grandfather, David Scarlatina. Velvet told Kevin all about David. She told him how he was big and burley. He killed an Ursa with his bare hands to protect Velvet when she was a little girl. She told him about his fondness for Shela, his favorite shotgun. She told him of how protective he was of Velvet and she wanted to surprise her grandfather. She told him about his proficiency with his Semblance, even in his old age, his ability never faded. David's semblance was Blink, a short range teleport, something he used constantly to great effect. He glanced over at Velvet who had a blank expression. A knot developed deep in his chest. Velvet held his hand, doing her best to calm him down and he appreciated the effort, but it wasn't working. They approached the steps to the house. "Are you sure this is a good idea? I mean I don't know if-" Kevin started to say before Velvet pecked him on the lips. "Here I thought I was the timid one," Velvet giggled. "You'll be fine, just be yourself." Kevin sighed. He reached up, and knocked on the door.

After a moment of waiting the door flew open and there was a big old man with a shotgun readied at his face. It was all Kevin could do to stand there not shit himself. Another moment passes, a third. Suddenly the big old man lowered his gun and gave a great, hearty laugh. He placed the shotgun on the wall of the hallway, grabbed Kevin and brought him into a big bear hug, that squeezed the breath out of Kevin. David let go of the hug but put his hands at either side of Kevin's face so he could look at Kevin, his voice boomed "AHH MY BOY, YOU MUST BE THE ONE VELVET TOLD ME OF!" Kevin gave a bewildered look toward Velvet who stood there barely containing her laughter. "COME, COME!" David's voice boomed in a cheery way, as he grabbed Kevin by the arm and lead him inside his house. "SIT, EAT AND DRINK!" As David shoved Kevin into a seat and placed a bowl of fruit in front of him. David sat across from Kevin. Now that Kevin got a look at David he could see that, to his surprise David was not a faunus. At least not in any overtly visible way. "MY LAD, WE HAVE SO MUCH TO DISCUSS." David said lacing his fingers together. Kevin had no idea what to expect next.

* * *

 **And there ya go.**

 **Luke: Hah, kevin almost pissed his pants!**

 **Luke shut up. Or else i will hand you over to Nora. And she just had a bucket of sugar.**

 **Luke: Please don't! I'll do anything!**

 **That's better. Anyways, i hope you all enjoyed my friend's writing. Leave a review if you want, follow and favorite this story, because every chapter is hilarious.**

 **I'll see you all in the next one. Have a HOOOWWLING good day!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Happy 4th of July! Here is a special chapter.**

 **I don't know if they even have July on Remnant. But oh well.**

 **I don't own RWBY or anything else used in this chapter.**

 **Enjoy everyone!**

* * *

The whole student body of beacon and the teachers are sitting outside on the lawn, waiting for the show to start.

"Alright. Luke, Odessa, are the fireworks ready?" Kevin asked his teammates. Team KOLM had volunteered to do the fireworks display this year. Luke and Odessa created the dust-infused fireworks, and Mark was in charge of making sure Luke didn't blow up the school again. (long story, i'll tell you another time)

Odessa looked up at Kevin and smiled. "Just waiting for the signal. I hope this is spectacular enough." she looks over towards vale. "For everyone. I still can't believe we are in charge of this whole thing."

"Thanks again Odessa. For working these while we all watch with Yang Blake and velvet." Kevin said to her with a smile, then he, Luke, and Mark walk away. A few moments later the Fireworks started, with everyone at Beacon and Vale watching staring in awe at the spectacular display. Even Cinder and her associates were watching from their warehouse.

As Cardin watched, he was unaware of a small bit of Lightning dust falls onto him, electrocuting him as the people around him laugh.

Odessa smiles at the team's hard work, continuing to send more high into the sky, then she looks directly at the 4th wall. "Happy 4th of July everyone!"

* * *

 **I had to write this quickly, it popped into my head randomly and i knew i had to make it on time, seeing as how I've missed the last few holidays that i meant to write a chapter for.**

 **And yes, i had to hurt Cardin. It's fun, and he deserves it for hurting the adorable Bunny Waifu!**

 **Anyways, i hope you all enjoyed the chapter, even if you don't celebrate the holiday. Leave a review, and click that favorite story button.**

 **I hope you all have a HOOOWWLING good day!**


	4. Baking at Beacon

**Hello Everyone! Welcome back to the chaos that follows team KOLM wherever they go!**

 **I had the idea for this while talking with a friend about a certain Rose.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own RWBY, nor do i own anything i might reference.**

* * *

It was time for Beacon's third annual Bake sale, and team KOLM was assigned to bake all the cookies. "Ugh.. this stinks, i can't even taste them!" Luke complained, as he pulled a batch out of an oven. "Why did we get stuck doing this anyways?"

Kevin glared at him. "Oh i don't know, maybe because someone pulled a prank of Professor Port! People tend to be angry when you super glue them to their chairs!" he practically yelled, causing their other teammates to glare at him.

"Honestly Luke, your pranks are funny sometimes. But this one went too far!" Odessa said as she finished putting the cookies on the trays and turned back towards the others. "At least now we're finished."

"Good point.. Now we still have an hour before the sale, so let's take this time to rela-" Kevin paused as he felt a breeze and looked at the cookie trays. "WHERE ARE ALL THE COOKIES?!" he yelled, causing his team to look as well.

"Think about it, there are two things that could've happened. Either ghosts actually exist and they stole the cookies.. Or a certain someone with a speed semblance took them.." Mark said as he picked up a rose petal. The other three took a moment to think about it, and their eyes twitched when they realized that they had to bake more cookies.

"RUBY!" they all yelled in frustration.

 **Hours later**

Team KOLM was selling their new batch of cookies at the bake sale, minus their team leader, who was keeping Ruby _very_ occupied, so she didn't attempt to eat all the sweets at the event. They had no idea what the wolf faunus meant by that.

"Finishing blow! I win again!" Ruby said triumphantly as she beat Kevin for the 15th time.

"Best 16 out of 31 Rose! This time.. Victory shall be mine!" He said as they started a new round.

* * *

 **Well folks, what did you think? And for all of you wondering, no i was NOT implying anything between Kevin and Ruby. Get your minds out of the gutters.**

 **As usual, leave a review if you liked this chapter, and if you have any ideas for future chapters. I hope you all enjoyed this one.**

 **See you all in the next one. Have a HOOOWWLING good day/night!**

 **P.S. did anyone else imagine Odessa in an apron?**

 **P,S.S. can anyone get the reference from Kevin's last line? If you do get it, give yourself a treat.**


	5. A KOLM Halloween

**Hello everyone! SO sorry this chapter is so late.. I've been busy with life stuff. Hopefully i'll be able to get the christmas chapter out on time.**

 **Let's get to the fun shall we?**

 **Disclaimer: i do not own RWBY, or anything else i reference in this chapter.**

* * *

It was halloween night at Beacon, which meant that it was the night of Beacon's annual Halloween party. Everyone was having fun, even those who didn't dress up. Mark was staying over by the punch bowl, dressed as Therion. He was about to refill his punch, but was dragged off to the dance floor by Blake, who was wearing a vampire queen costume.

Luke was on stage dressed as Reinhardt, singing into his hammer like a microphone,. Everyone could tell he was drunk, but none of them seemed to care as long as he didnt smack anyone with the improvised microphone. Yang was watching him and recording it on her scroll for later purposes.

Odessa was talking to some other students in her Shantae costume, drawing the attention of most of the male students, and a few females as well. Even Jaune, dressed as Link, couldn't resist looking, much to Pyrrha's dismay, who was dressed as Erza Scarlet..

But the leader of KOLM was out on one of the balconies away from the party, as a shiny Zorua anthro. He was hanging out with Velvet, who was a Lopunny anthro. "Wow Luke can get loud when he's drunk.. Don't you think Velv?" he asked as they looked up at the night sky.

She smiled a little. "Yes, but not as loud as when he's sober." they both laughed at that. "Thanks again for coming with me. I would have come with my team but Coco somehow got drunk before we even got to the party. You know how she is when she's drunk." she said, causing them both to shiver at the memory.

"Well whoever's drunk in there doesn't matter.. As long as i'm out here with a hot Lopunny by my side." Kevin said, looking at her with a grin. "Speaking of hot, is it out here or is it just you?"

Velvet blushed and laughed at the cheesy line. "Oh wow that was so cheesy!" she said as she kissed his nose. "Lucky for you i love how cheesy you are, my cute little Zorua." Now it was Kevin's turn to blush, as he mumbled something about not being cute..

All in all, it was a happy night for everyone.. Except for a certain Bully. He was being chased down my an angry Nora, dressed as Thor, and a panicked Ren, dressed as Loki, as he tried to stop her. It would seem Cardin's prank did not hit it's intended target, for every student at Beacon knows..

Do NOT mess with Nora Valkyrie's candy.

Happy Halloween everyone!

* * *

 **Thanks for reading everyone, and once again I'm sorry for being late with this chapter. I had half of it written before Halloween, then Life happened and i wasn't able to finish on time.**

 **Any who, i hope you enjoyed. Leave a review, favorite the story, and maybe tell your friends about this.**

 **And for those of you who don't know who they are dressed as.. Reinhardt is from Overwatch, and Luke was doing his dance Emote.**

 **Mark was dressed as Therion, the Thief of Octopath Traveler. One of my favorite games.**

 **Odessa is, obviously, Shantae. If you don't know who Shantae is, go look her games up on youtube.**

 **As for Kevin and Velvet.. Well any Pokemon fan will know Zorua and Lopunny.**

 **I really hope you all enjoyed, and i will see you all again. Until then, have a HOOOWWLING good day/night!**


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